So many outcomes in life are birthed from a change of heart. “I promise to love you until you no longer meet my needs”. Right? That’s how half of wedding vows would sound if we were honest with ourselves, even though there’s no valor in that. I mean, think about it, did our folks really divorce over “financial issues”? Oh dahling, you mustn’t be so naive.
Career change: veiled with a change of heart. Re-locating: change of heart. Or in another sense, “I’ve changed my mind”. As a child that excuse really used to piss me off. “But mom! You promised!”…met with the infamous, nonchalant and remorse-lacking response, “I’ve simply changed my mind”. It’s pretty much the same thing. Heart and mind. One just FEELS more. One’s more emotional.
But what if, instead of having a “change of heart”, — in other words, a changed opinion, stance, wanting something other than what you have (which, side bar, has us going down the “discontentment” rabbit hole, but that’s for another day) we had a heart CHANGE?
That is to say, the spouse that not only drives us up an effing wall, but we’d rather be eff-ING someone else…in that regard, can our heart be changed, conditioned, SOFTENED, to love them anyway? DESPITE the bull that so easily tempts us to want to say “you know what, screw THIS, I’ve had a change of heart, I’m outta here”?
The boss we simply can’t stand and would rather quit our jobs over (because, you’ve had that good ol’ change of heart again) versus tapping in to something greater than ourselves and trusting that in time, our HEART can be changed and we don’t have to leave the place we make our income to survive?
Change of heart versus heart change. It’s not an oxymoron or a tongue twister, I promise. Maybe it’s just me, but I can’t shake the weight of knowing how many people’s psyches I’ve messed up and left high and dry because my own inner selfishness drove me to have a change of heart. Sometimes it’s good. Sometimes it’s healthy. Often times it’s glutton-driven. “What’s in it for me, what can I get out of this, what am I NOT getting out of what I currently have”, so on and so forth. And the quest for what will satisfy this unquenchable thirst in our heart continues.